Thread: Hello From A Newbie....

Hi, I am completely new to all this and to be honest a little nervous. I thought that I would introduce myself and my reasons for joining this forum, my apologies if this is in the wrong thread.

Okay here I go…

I suffer from a degenerative illness that has now got so bad that each day is a blessing as it is now killing me. Due to my illness my body shape changed, I used to be really tiny and quite androgynous in shape even though I gave birth to my wonderful 10lb 11 baby boy Matthew. I have gone from being a size 8 straight figure to a 39 (36D) - 28 - 39, I have always been afraid of gaining weight and I cant lose this even though due to the illness I can hardly eat. My confidence level seriously dropped I have never thought that I was pretty if anything I have always thought of myself as ugly but at least I was skinny! It has got so bad that I wont let my wonderful Husband see me naked and cover every body part, I know this hurts him and he has been so wonderful and supportive and keeps telling me that I am not fat, I have the perfect hourglass figure and its sexy!

The thing is that I have always loved Burlesque, and seen women with curvy figures as sexy, but cant see myself in that way. So my Husband decided that a great way of helping me to boost my confidence and feel sexy was to start by doing some burlesque style photos (my favourite is a Victorian style with a little modern glamour). I still didn’t feel sexy and I hate looking at the photos, even though I have agreed to do another set of photos with him, I was so nervous that he feels that if I relax more the photos will be ten times better! Anyway this Saturday I finally gave in to what’s inside and been waiting to burst out and I did my first Burlesque dance for my Husband, the first time I was so nervous that I was shaking and messed it all up, but I sent him out the room and added a chair as a prop and called on my gymnastics and my dance (I used to do gymnastics and did dance school including ballet from the age of about 6). When he came back I just imagined it wasn’t me and it was Lola Lyndhurst and did a really good Burlesque to ‘What Lola Wants’. My Husband was blown away and said that he had watched a lot of the You Tube Burlesque and I was as good as some and better than others! And for one moment while doing that dance I did feel sexy and confident about my body.

So now I am a novice Burlesque artist, my Husband is getting a video recorder so that he can record me doing it and I have agreed that he can share the videos on the net, he thinks that getting positive feedback on videos and photos will boost my confidence. Luckily for me I have tons of corsets and sexy little things as I have been a romantic Goth since my early teens. I just cant find anything now to fit my figure apart from corsets…..Oh well

Anyway I am sorry to have babbled at you for so long, but I am hoping to learn all about Burlesque and confidence from you lovely people on here.

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Hi there, I am also a newbie. I noticed you are from Peterborough, thats where I live too!

I'd just like to say that you look gorgeous in your pictures, and you remind me of flapper actresses in black and white films. (meaning your looks, not your fashion style, which is clearly victorian influenced)

Good luck with your burlesque journey,

~Hex