Thread: Am I Overreacting?

Firstly sorry if this is in the wrong topic section but I wasn’t really sure where to put it.

I, like alot of people use Face Book, in my photo albums I have an album of photo's of me. I have put my Burlesque photos on FB in that album, the same ones I have on here on my profile.

Yesterday I asked people to leave some comments:
"Please will someone comment on my Burlesque photo's I need to boost Paul's confidence in his work to get him motivated to finish the rest....lol"
Paul obviously is my wonderful hubby who does all the wonderful background work for me. I didn’t think it was wrong and I know the only person who is a little creeped out is my younger brother but he's 23 I am sure he will cope besides he wasn’t rude and was just really taking the mickey out of me as siblings are wont to do.

Then a family friend replied with:
"i think hes done a very good job, although there is something a bit wierd about putting pictures of yourself wearing basques and stockings on facebook for all to see!! sorry i think you look stunning and pauls done a cracking job but bit worried a few pervs might get off looking at them thats all."
The thing is she is quite happy to have pictures of her all over her FB wearing a bikini top and short....well shorts, as well as tight tops showing cleavage and really tight dresses.

Anyway I don’t know if I am overreacting but its made me feel really self conscious and sl**ty when I had just started to gain some confidence, so I am considering taking them off FB if they really are that offensive, but I personally think in all the photo’s I am more covered up than if I were in a bikini, take a look at my profile for yourselves they are exactly the same ones! Besides when I go out I wear Corsets and Basques and stockings (although obviously less on show), Grrrrrrr I just hate all the photos now and want to remove them….the stupid thing is I only asked for opinions because I wanted Paul to have some confidence in his work as he seems to have got frustrated and isn’t working on the rest of the pics because he thinks he isn’t doing well enough.

What do I do?

WARNING

Warning: This is an Old Thread This discussion is older than 60 days. information contained in it may no longer be current

In all honesty, she sounds jealous. I would delete her comment. It's not like there aren't a million girls out there with slutty pics up just because they do want the attention. Yours, at least, are tasteful and have some reason to them as opposed to some bimbo setting a self timer and striking a pose. Ignore it lovely, the world is full of such people and you shouldn't let it get to you.

i thought that on FB you could only view photos if you were friends with the person so its not as if its open to everyone.
If you wear that day in and day out - leave them up as you say ther's no more on show than there would be on a saturday night with some people.

you should be proud of both you and your hubby and the fact that you have the confidence to show everyone look what I can do and how good do I look!

I personally would leave them up and allow other to comment - remembering that you asked for comments so you could get negative ones. Its like reviews ignore the ones you don't like and revell in the fact that you have some gorgeous pictures, the confidence to dress up how YOU want to and not follow the crowd and the fact that you look stunning!

though - ask yourself why do you suddenly hate them?
being blunt ( so feel free to ignore)- is the family friend jealous of what you have achieved or would she not realise the irony of her statement.
i would also point out to her the same thing you said to us - and i'm sure that there are also other who would 'perv' over her pictures

enjoy what you do - the photos are stunning!

"I thought that on FB you could only view photos if you were friends with the person "

A common misconception, in fact it is possible for friends of friends to view your albums, example:

Someone takes a pic of me and puts it in one of their albums (God only knows why but this is only an example) They then tag the photo with my name, now all my few friends can see theres a new photo of me, but also they can look and see all the photos in the same album!

Actually this is not a bad way of getting publicity, a friend who's a pro film maker tagged all his friends onto a short film so now not only can all his friends see the short but so can all of their friends

Originally Posted by White Knight

"I thought that on FB you could only view photos if you were friends with the person "

A common misconception, in fact it is possible for friends of friends to view your albums, example:

Someone takes a pic of me and puts it in one of their albums (God only knows why but this is only an example) They then tag the photo with my name, now all my few friends can see theres a new photo of me, but also they can look and see all the photos in the same album!

Actually this is not a bad way of getting publicity, a friend who's a pro film maker tagged all his friends onto a short film so now not only can all his friends see the short but so can all of their friends

It is, however, possible to make all your tagged photos private so only you can see them and to also make it so only friends can view your pictures. It's in the privacy settings. You can control who can see what on your profile.

If you are entering the world of performing/modelling you are going to get some negativity either from other people who do what you do or from people looking in from outside.
I have yet to meet another burly performer who hasn't at some point had an audience member slag them/their performance off and it get back to them... and don't even get me started on the bitching that can go on between fellow performers!
Part of the process of this developing a tougher skin. Knowing when a criticism is useful and taking that on board and trying to learn from it and recognising when it is just sour grapes. In this case I don't think there is much question - this sounds like sour grapes.

I have been very lucky in that apart from my OH having a few reservations my friends and family were totally supportive and could see that this was something that really seemed 'up my street' even if it wasn't something they would do themselves. If your friend isn't supporting you maybe you should just point blank ask her why. If she can't step up and be happy for you then maybe this is something you keep separate from your relationship with her.

Try to stand firm. If you're not naturally a confident person (and I know I'm not) it can be really hard to fly in the face of criticism but you've come this far. Try to separate useful critique from confidence shaking snipes and you'll soon find these comments are not so important.

Good Luck.

It might be worth doing what the majority of us burly types do, and getting a separate fb account where you keep everything burly related. Keep family, family friends and workmates separate from this account, and only add the people who you want associated with this side of you.

xx

Delete the comments and move on... this is you so you should definitely feel ok about it.

I had to laugh the other day. Someone made some comment about the photos of burlesque shows that we'd been putting on our FB profiles. They said 'well not everybody wants to go to those those SEX shows'. WHAT!! lmao!!

Some people are just prudes

__________________
Burlesque Clothing at Love Burlesque

Candy, your post made me giggle to myself! Those sex shows? A sensual stripTEASE (note the focus on the word tease! hehe) is termed as a sex show, whilst a strip club barely raises eyebrows anymore? Gosh, don't you love the double standards of this society! At least burly girls do it with a bit of class and and make it an artform rather than use it as an easy way to make money! Anyone who says anything like that, including what was said to you Lola, is plainly jealous of your confidence and independence! I'd laugh at them as I twirled by nipple tassles if I were you girls!

Agreed with the above- she may not like them, be embarrassed/jealous etc, but you put up what you want to put up. My mother is quite uncomfortable with anything where I look sexy and concerned about any detail I put about myself on line, despite my assurances that I am sensible about it. Dont let someone elses remarks put you off, hun.