Thread: Being bad mouthing producer - what to do?

Can I ask some advice from you all?

Short story - I backed out of a show for a family function and gave the promoter 45 days notice and though I wasn't obligated to, I found a replacement performer for my time slot. The promoter flipped out on me and sent me a nasty email and though this was months ago is still bad mouthing me to any one who will listen.

The long story - Skip this if you want, I'm mostly venting!
I was emailed by the organizer asking me to perform at a charity function for no pay and I agreed. I gave her all the photos and information she requested but whenever I called or emailed her asking questions I never received a response.

2 months before the event I happened to be at an event where she was hosting a kissing booth in order to raise money. I had burlesque outfit in the car so I grabbed it and had a mutual friend introduce us, thinking I'd volunteer to work at the booth passing out handbills and I would finally get the information I needed if I met her face to face.

The organizer was incredibly short with me, didn't make eye contact but agreed I to the help I was offering. When I asked if I could change into my outfit in her bathroom she refused. My friend tried to explain I couldn't exactly change in the hallway and the organizer flipped out on me for wasting her time and told me she no longer needed my help and briskly walked away, tossing some handbills over her shoulder as she left.

I was flabbergasted at what happened. My simple question had sent her into a rage! My friend was shocked too and we wondered what had set her off.

Nervous, I began to ask around about this organizer to people I trusted and didn't like what I heard. While I didn't offer my experience, many performers told me of similar experiences and I began to question what I had just signed up for.

A week or so later, my sister announced the date of her baby shower was the same day as the charity gig. So to have a record I sent her an email explaining why I had to bow out and told her I had some friends interested in taking my spot if she wanted to fill my spot. I also called an left a message. This gave her 45 days notice.

I got a very rude response from her nearly 2 weeks later telling me she had spent a ton of money promoting me (not true, my name was not listed on the handbill, nor was my photo on her website) so I had better find a replacement immediately. She also called me a lair for my reasons on backing out and said she knew I had been investigating her.

To set the record straight I told her yes, I did ask some trusted friends about her after what had transpired at the kissing booth. I came clean and said her rude behavior had made me nervous but up until my sister told me about her shower I was still planning on doing the gig and I was more then willing to book another performer in my place. I passed on the information of the available performers I felt was a best fit for the show and told her I was sorry for the inconvenience and hoped I could make it up to her at a future event.

I got a very unprofessional and very rude email in response. It made me cry it was so harsh!

I didn't respond. I just ignored it and my friend who took my place had a pretty bad experience at the show. I didn't pursue the matter any further but she's been trashing my name all around town - 6 months later!

It's not hurting my business at all but it's driving me nuts!
I'm sick of hearing what she's been saying about me to promoters, organizers and performers who thankfully know me better then that!

Finally - the question: So, do I leave it alone or try to resolve this with her in some way?

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Send tony and the boys round to her place with some pliers and a blow torch. That or leave it, sounds to me with an attitude like that she won't be long in the event management business.

I think Buck Fast is right.
Besides that it wont affect the opinion of anyone who knows you and if people are going to judge you on hearsay you're better off without them.
Barbsie x

Personally, I would leave things alone. People who usually stir up trouble get a taste of their own medicine sooner or later.

Spreading ficticious rumours about people is annoying....well it is for the person who is being talked about....but dont give them the satisfaction of letting them see it bothers you.

Hold you head up high, smile, knowing you are the better person.

I've done a few events where the make and break of the event was
the event manager... Sadly those who aren't up to the job, do stress out
more and pass it onto everyone else.... They don't last long...

As Titop says.... If you let it bother you then they've won...

Walk away with your head held high and you've won..

Originally Posted by TipTop Photography

Personally, I would leave things alone. People who usually stir up trouble get a taste of their own medicine sooner or later.

Spreading ficticious rumours about people is annoying....well it is for the person who is being talked about....but dont give them the satisfaction of letting them see it bothers you.

Hold you head up high, smile, knowing you are the better person.

I certainly echo these sentiments - don't let her get to you!

As a side point - when I hear badmouthing the only person I lose respect for is the person doing the badmouthing, not the person being badmouthed about (and I know I'm by no means uncommon in this regard so I really wouldn't worry about her doing your reputation any harm - she's merely damaging her own).

Certainly if I were to hear a producer/promoter gratuitously slagging off a performer in the manner you describe my immediate response would be to make a note to myself not to work with said promoter!

Originally Posted by GizaSangria

....
Finally - the question: So, do I leave it alone or try to resolve this with her in some way?

Leave it well alone - your repeated experience of negativity isn't suddenly going to change to a positive one. A certain attitude has been demonstrated - and dealing with it will not be conducive to your progress.

It sounds like this producer is on a power trip or something, don't let it affect you - as hard as it is to do so, do try and be resilient.

It also sounds like the producer has limited resources/experience if 45 days notice isn't enough to arrange a 4 minute act (I'm assuming the average here) for free for a charity event...

We've certainly not heard anything bad about you Giza, then again we only listen to professional opinion

Thanks for all the great responses everyone!
I'll take your advice to heat and let it go!
Thanks again