Thread: worst day of my life

after 10 years of marriage and thirteen years together my wife tells me today she no longer wants to be with me . when i tried to get here to explain she said she needed to find herself ? i don't understand i have never held her back' I've tried to encourage her in everything she wants to do so i can't see how it came to this . i don't want to give up but cant see any way to get back to where we were , any advice from a woman's point of view would be a huge help.

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I'm sorry, darl'. I can't explain this to you, but I can give you a piece of advice - never say anything you can't take back. It's so easy to say something you don't mean when you're upset or angry. I've done it myself before.

xxx

The worst thing you can do is pressure her. Give her what she wants- some space and time, otherwise she will end up resentful and that's not what you want.

It will work itself out, just be patient.

Oh hon - you poor thing. You have all my sympathy)
Not much help but all I can say is sometimes it feels that you can't remember what it's like to be you when you've been an 'us' for so long. Give her space and time. And Give yourself the same.
Just focus on getting through the next month. Then see how everything stands in April. (Unless there's kids involved in which case just focus on them understanding that you both still love them).
xxx

Originally Posted by blitzgrrl

(Unless there's kids involved in which case just focus on them understanding that you both still love them
xxx

unfortunatly we have 3 aged 4 , 6 and 9 , i have told them i will always love them and that i will always be around for them.

Do you have their godparents nearby? or aunties/uncles who'll be impartial? It does help kids to have an adult they can trust & talk to who can stay impartial and reassure them about both parents and who they know will still be there. If only to yell at them (the kids at the adult friends i mean) or spend time out of the house.
Wish I could make you feel better x

I think that is very good advice, Blitzgrrrl.

Hi honey
I am so sorry to read this post. I think what everyone has said is true you need to give her space to figure out how she feels. She must have been holding back her feelings for awhile for your sake and the kids and now she can not do it anymore.
Its best to give her time to sort her head out and give yourself time to get over this shock. look after yourself and the kids let them know its not there fault and you have done the right thing in telling them you love them. They need you so much right now.
Maybe in time you could both find someone like a consoler that you could both talk to and fine out what has been troubling her and try and fix the problems.
Good luck
Love and hugs
Diva x

I agree with what everyone has said above.

The best thing to do is give her space and that will give you a bity of time too. Hopefully you guys will work things out. When people have been together for so long things can seem a litlle too routine. Maybe a little break will give her time to realise just how much she would miss you if she lost you.

Im sorry that the kids are involved but you will have to explain things too them, which may be hard on you, but in this day and age im sure that they will understand. Maybe try talking to your eldest first and see how it goes.

Again im really sorry about this but you have tons of support from all us guys. I hope things work out for you

xx

thank you all very much for all you have said , i am hoping it will work out but i will just have to wait and see .