Thread: coming out in burlesque.

I have just had a horrible evening. im 27 and a mum, so an adult, unfortunately, my mum has just discovered that i had started burlesque and have my first evening coming up. I really cant understand but she has gone absolutely mental and told me that i disgust her!
not being funny, but i have always been a bit wild, and this is pretty tame, by some of the things i did when younger.
I feel awful as she told me i was to old, and need to grow up, and think about my little girl, and my career.
Im just on here moaning as i feel so bad. I would just like to know if any one else has been through any thing similuar?
a very sad kitty x:-(

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Hello,
Your message was so sad!
I don't know how you feel because I don't have children but, I think, that if you are responsible, you care for your daughter, then what a great role model you are! You are showing your daughter that she can be confident with who she is and that there is nothing wrong with being strong and happy.
Could your mum be jealous? Is it that her life has passed her by? or that she didn't continue with her life after her children were born?
Good luck and well done!

Hi honey
maybe its just your mum has never been to a burlesque night and has no idea that its not taking all your clothes off and being nasty. Maybe take her to a show and let her see that its mostly very lovely dressed woman who go to the events and there are all ages who perform. I am way older than you and having a ball doing it. It took my mum awhile but since she has seen pictures of me in action she is very proud.
good luck
Diva x

Without sounding too mean, tell her to sod off! You're an adult and should never spend your life seeking approval from another. Let her have a look at some of the beautiful photos and videos on here. Ask her why she's so disgusted and ask her if she really thinks that she's failed as a parent so much that you'd be led into a sordid pastime.

Burlesque is a celebratory art form, you should be proud of yourself for being able to bring up a child, run a house etc and still have time to enjoy yourself!

Hope you feel better after reading the posts on here x

I am inclined to agree with Diva. Maybe your mum thinks you want to be the next Jordan or something, and with all the tabloid press about 'mums in meltdown' like Britney Spears and Kerry Katona etc she's probably a bit hyper sensative.

My mum and I have a kind of don't ask don't tell policy, she knows roughly what I do and likes to some of my 'nice' modeling shots but I don't think she wants to come to any events.

I'm sure your mum will get over it once she realises your not going to stop just because she doesn't like it.

Higs and Kisses for you though - families suck sometimes! ;-) xxx

Perhaps it was the shock talking? Maybe when your mum has time to think it over she will regret the hurtful things she has said. Sometimes people won't approve of the things you do but if they love you, in time they should accept that as an adult you know what is best for you.
I do agree though that maybe your mum has the wrong impression of what burlesque is. My mum likes musicals so when i told her about burlesque i told her 'it's kind of like Cabaret or Gypsy' and so my mum came into it without any dodgy preconceptions. She hasn't seen me perform live yet as most ofter my shows are too far away for her or on a work night but she has seen videos of my performances and didn't seem too horrified!
Anyway, chin up and give your mum a chance to come round. And if she doesn't then you might just have to tell her to mind her own business.
xxx

:twothumbs:
I know it must be upsetting to have this lack of approval from your mother. However, I'm sure that when she was in her prime, she has secrets also.

You are doing the best you can. People will always be strange about this career. Too bad, they don't what they are missing. This is the ultimate in female empowerment.

Don't take too much stock in all the shrieking and hand waving. YOU are the one who has to follow your heart. Take care of yourself and your daughter. LIfe goes on. You are the only one who can live it..

As time passes, guess who'll be sneaking peaks in the scrapbook. Mumsiekins.

Best of luck with it all.

You're doing this for yourself, not her, next time she has a moment, dazzle her with rhinestones and sequines!
I'm just getting in to burlesque, I'm 26 with 3 little ones and my girls love looking at the corsets and seamed stockings so I know if I had your confidence, I'd have their approvel!

Originally Posted by kitty maguire

I have just had a horrible evening. im 27 and a mum, so an adult, unfortunately, my mum has just discovered that i had started burlesque and have my first evening coming up. I really cant understand but she has gone absolutely mental and told me that i disgust her!
not being funny, but i have always been a bit wild, and this is pretty tame, by some of the things i did when younger.
I feel awful as she told me i was to old, and need to grow up, and think about my little girl, and my career.
Im just on here moaning as i feel so bad. I would just like to know if any one else has been through any thing similuar?
a very sad kitty x:-(

My Mum reacted in a very similar way. I'm from a strict Irish Catholic upbringing so I knew it wouldn't go down too well. I'm never ever going to tell my Dad, it's better for him (and me!) if he doesn't know and I don't discuss it with my Mum anymore. It isn't nice but I enjoy Burlesque and I'm not causing any harm to anyone so I'll carry on with it. Sending you many hugs xxxxx

Thank you all so much for your wonderfull replies and words of wisdom.
After a goods nights sleep. i feel loads beter. Im me, and i love that i have the confidence to feel comfortable with myself and i feel alive when i dance. im a complete newbie to all this, but i enjoy it, and my little girl loves the fact her mum looks glam, and smiles!
thanks everyone
kisses
kitty x