Thread: Cut Off Yer Nuts!

Originally Posted by heathersweet

...mouth barf...

In Germany, the mouth barf is commonly referred to as 'Das Zicken Burpen'. It's the only piece of the language I know apart from the phrase 'neunundneunzig luftballons'.

Originally Posted by James

Apparently they make a sort of hangmans noose out of cheese-wire and then do what I presume should be called a 'Madass Insane'!

I'm in pain thinking about it! Must stop actually thinking about it but can't seem to stop myself! It's like poking an ulcer. Oooh Gawd, I'm supposed to be sewing sequins onto a costume for a gig tomorrow, I have about fifty to sew, and here I am having a conversation about bottoms in the middle of the night!

Twinkle Starr xx

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Seriously this is one of the funniest threads I have ever read!!!

I think I might have wee'd a little bit!!

:-)

Originally Posted by Broomstick Pilot

James you are a twat, I am not supposed to talk about work, patient confidentiality and all that. So not naming anyone, or their masculine gender even, I went to a 999 call where a member of the Y chromosome had opened one of those tins of corned beef with the stupid key that you twist endlessly around the lid. the thing had snapped off part way through the operation and had sliced through his sorry, person's hand twix index finger and thumb, severing artery and tendon. It's a gift they have isn't it ladies?

Originally Posted by Midnight Blue

Minus the severing of artery and tendon thats exactly what my hubby did a few years ago. Bled for ages silly boy. He's done plenty of sillyer things before and since though

I think that there's something about men which makes us do stuff like this. It's like our minds get taken over by impulsiveness.

After my accident with the walnut, I called Kittie and asked her to buy us a nutcracker (actually the first time I called Kittie after my accident, the conversation amounted to a rather curt and strained "Hi, Kittie, where do we keep the plasters? Okay, bye!"). She came back from town a few hours later with a nutcracker that is so space age, it resembles something out of Star Treck.

It was probably because of this that made me absentmindedly stick my one remaining uninjured index finger into the cracking section.

Luckily Kittie confiscated the device from me before I'd absent-mindedly managed to test its cracking capability.

You'll all be pleased to know that I eventually managed to eat the nut that stabbet me. It tasted of sweet, sweet revenge!

James, looky looky:

http://www.questodesign.com/shop/pro...10_335&cat=192