Thread: Feeling Lousy

Just had a call from my mum who's suddenly found the need to log onto face book and called to tell me to take my pictures down. All I can imagine is she means my avatar on it because it's the one and only burly pic I had on there. I don't know if I feel worse that she's seen it and called or that I did what she said and took it down. I feel like a naughty teenager and it's not a good feeling. Obv. she has no idea about my performances and my confidence feels like it's just plummeted. Whinge over, I'm havin a nose through everyones gallaries to remind myself how lovely all the pictures really are...

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people are funny... i had ta similar thing with a friend of mine the other day as she went crazy over a picture of the two of us on facebook and she treated me like a child over it. and it wasnt anything unusual she just didnt like it.... some people are just weird about things and you never know the reason why.

my mum is very funny about my lifestyle choices and i only design for burlesque!

your mum is probably ok with your lifestle provided she doesnt come into contact with the burlesque you too often... its the old "out of site out of mind" i think.

why dont you ask ur mum why she wanted you to take it down... at least you'll know what she has the issue with and it'll put ur mind at ease and you can talk about it!

She did go about it in a funny way - asking what career path I was after and saying I was leaving myselft open to blackmail and bribery. Then she said it's like Heather Mills and the stuff dragged up about her.... stuff that I'm blissfully unaware of and, well, I'm not exactly planning on marrying anyone famous! Unfortunately I thought it was out of sight, perhaps it is stupid naievity but it really makes me wonder wheather she'd find out about me performing, expecially if I went back down south near home. Damed facebook!! lol

you know what my love.. i would personally sit down with a cup of tea, face to face with your mum and ask her the reasons, then explain what this means to you personally. All any mother wants is the best for her child, and im sure your mum will be able to see how much this means to you doll xxx

My sister is reeeeeeaaaaly funny about photo's. She fell out with me once and went mad just because I'd put a photo up of us pulling faces!

As for burly pics, I keep mine private from certain people (my priest is on facebook - MY PRIEST!?!??!) and my Mum hates the fact I'm into Burlesque so best to keep it out of her way!

Hope you're feeling ok lovely xxxxx

I'd agree that the best course of action is a heart to heart, it'll be hard as parents do tend to think they know best but maybe once she has been infoormed and comforted about the whole burly world and the pictures she will feel better and you can carry on doing your thang and posting the pics without the worry of her having a go at you!
Hope it goes well honey xx

Originally Posted by Anjakinz

Then she said it's like Heather Mills and the stuff dragged up about her.... stuff that I'm blissfully unaware of

Oh apparently Heather Mills was in some soft porn in the 80s or something - but the tabloids reported it as if no one had ever known anything about it before, including her husband (yeah right, if he didn't know anything about that I'll eat my fascinator). It's hardly the same thing! Plus, you're only open to 'blackmail and bribery' if burly and your pics are things you're ashamed of and don't want anyone finding out about - which I doubt is the case if the pics are on facebook! Your pictures are lovely, at least the ones I've seen on your myspace, and I doubt that in future anyone could drag them up as something 'seedy' from your past - if they could then we're all running that risk! Besides, there are so many other people with more risqué pictures that it's really not that big a deal. But, mums are mums and at the end of the day they will interfere, because they think that they know best. I agree with the having a talk idea, but I think you need to state clearly that you are a grown woman and you know what's best for you - thanks for being concerned but there's no need, you're perfectly safe and happy. Then put your pictures back up ^_^

ohhh you poor thing :hug:

You are not a pornstar and attitudes to burlesque are changing - look at Scarlet Fever being on Faking It on Channel 4 and them showing how burlesque gave her back self-confidence, and they even had Immodesty Blaize on Saturday night BBC telly helping one of the Nancy's in I'll Do Anything have more confidence.

Much as you'll hate the idea - you could think about having a proper chat with her. Keeping secrets hurts. I know, I kept being gay from my family for over 30 years, and it eats away at you not being able to be your real self.

And if you are on the internet (facebook, myspace and here) then people you know will find out, and wouldn't it be better to beat them to it and tell them straight, being proud of what you're doing rather than having to be on the defensive?

You need to ask yourself - Do I love what I'm doing? Does it make me feel good?

Life is way too short to do what other people expect of you. This is your life not theirs and it's not a rehearsal.

I know all of this is big, but trust me, if this is who you are and you want to carry on putting stuff on the internet about your performing, then it's worth thinking about 'coming out' so that you have the control not others who might not understand. Life is too short not to be true yourself.

In the meantime :hug: