Thread: Love and Burlesque

Does any other single burlesque performers find it difficult to find someone as down to earth as we need but not phazed by our career choice? It just seems like they either construct an unreal fantasy based on the glamour of 'dating a burlesque girl' and then get amazed that there's a real person underneath the show stuff or they're a bit wary of the burlesque thing and don't get it to begin with. My hats off to you lucky girls out there with supportive partners, but I'm tired of being typecast as one thing or another. Not to channel Carrie Bradshaw but why can't men separate tease and reality?
Sorry to rant, kids, but it's late and the pubs are shut so my options are limited. Good night all. xx Cat Aclysmic

WARNING

Warning: This is an Old Thread This discussion is older than 60 days. information contained in it may no longer be current

A performer Cat and I know once dated a guy who refused to call her anything other than her burlesque stage name...how messed up is that?

I think with burlesque there is also the intimidation factor, the nice guys tend not to approach for fear of rejection...so I'm told :eyebrows:

Who knows, whether you're a burlesquer or a bin-lady - it's a jungle out there....so I'm told

xxx Lucille B xxx

I'll admit to being a bit bemused when Angel decided she wanted to try out Burlesque, but my experience of Angel was one of a very conservative woman. When she was first invited to a Burlesque event, where she was bitten by the bug, I deliberately said nothing about my expectations of the show because I figured she wouldn't go with her friends to watch it.

I feel that one of the problems facing single Burlesque performers is perception. You are seen on stage getting fairly naked so mixed messages seem to be sent out to men - in reality men are just making their own assumptions:-

1) You are an object to be used (the men who see female performers in the same light as a prostitute, only you should be free because the man has already payed, and you must be up for sex because you get your kit off on stage)

2) You are so powerful and beautiful that you are untouchable, and you can't possibly be single.

3) You are who you are on stage - like the previous posts said, once you stop being an act you are no longer the person the man was attracted to - hence the need to call you by your stage name rather than your real name, to put you in a frame of reference in which you become the performer side.

If a man can get past all those projections then great.

I think it's probably a good time to point out that I believe a lot of men do go to Burlesque shows to watch women get nearly naked.

I've only just got into this after chatting to a promoter at a Burlesque night - my boyfriend was really ott about it and wanted to punch the guy after he asked if I did burlesque, but when I explained to him that it was a good thing and not a come on, he calmed down abit - it's taken him some time though to get his head round the fact that this is what I want to do. I just had to reassure him he would have to help out with outfits and of course he'd get to preview all my routines first :P

That's really sweet that he likes to be a part of it Dani, it sounds like he's got the right attitude. xx

I think he thinks he's getting a good deal out of it now! lol *

I'm not single, but I don't think I'd have that problem (she says optimistically!) as I believe you are only a burlesque performer when you are doing just that! I've done lots of performance related stuff over the years - all of which take up huge amounts of rehearsal time. Some people find it hard to understand their partners hobby/interest, however you want to put it, no matter what they do! Are you into different kinds of performance - dancing, acting, singing, whatever - is burlesque an exension of this enabling you to add another dimension to your skills? If so, is it just burlesque that guys you meet struggle to get their heads around? Or is it the whole shebang?