Thread: If Dita doesn't do it, it's not proper Burlesque... apparently

I have just had a fabulous weekend of performing; on saturday night I had a wonderful time at Belle Epoque Burlesque in Huddersfield where I got to mingle with the marvelous and charismatic Khandie Kisses and the lovely Violet VaVoom (plus a couple of amazing singers whose names escape me... so sorry ladies!) and then on sunday I had a the most fun I have had in months in Nottingham at the Shangri-La lounge where i debuted my long awaited (well, by me anyway) Octopus act and got to hang out with a host of amazing performers including my favourite Burlesque potty-mouth, the inimitable Darkteaser.

Both nights were packed to the rafters with gorgeous, friendly, fun loving men and women who clearly had the intention of dressing up, getting blotto and having a damn good time. However, at both shows there was a Negative Nancy (a different woman at each, obviously) who had an opinion and didn't care who heard it.

At Belle Epoque a woman was overheard ranting about 'why were we on stage?' and 'anybody can do that' and apparently something about our acts just being a gimmick in a manner so indiscreet that she was overheard by other patrons and performers alike. At Shangri-la, on viewing my act a woman loudly commented 'Who does she think she is getting on stage like that dressed like an octopus?' and that well worn phrase that i'm sure we have all heard at one point in time 'That's not proper burlesque!'

Now, if i heard someone making nasty comments about my act i would probably let it be (and just bitch about them later), i'm the perfect combination of cowardly and passive aggressive(!), however, my sister (read manager, agent, benefactor, bodyguard, best pal and boyfriend sitter all rolled into one!) heard her and she is no shrinking violet. She came over to the woman and announced who she was and asked the woman what the big problem was. The frazzle haired detractor tried to justify herself 'well, i'm just saying... it's not proper burlesque' to which sister dear enquired what she classified as 'proper' burlesque. Well friends, i'm sure you can guess the reply: 'That Dita Von Teese, innit' (i don't know if she actually said innit but she apparently had that sort of voice).
Riiiiight.... (that's what my sister said to her, that's what i said when she told me... riiiiight.)
Our friend then claimed that she was a performer and was doing a show next week in Derby however she refused to tell my sister where/with whom so who knows....
When i came down in the interval she passed me with her face averted and eyes downcast as our little group laughed and chatted, possibly feeling a little foolish or fearing another confrontation with my sis. She was later seen trying to get a refund for her door ticket claiming she had been coming to the venue for ten years when the door staff assured her it had only been open for six.

Now, i really belive that people are entitled to their opinion... but opinions are like arseholes in the sense that everyone has one but it's not always best to share publicly. I feel that people should be discreet if they don't like an act... this woman criticised my sister for eavesdropping but sissy pointed out that it hardly qualifies as eavesdropping when the person is broadcasting at the level of a foghorn. Also, if you're going to criticise something (and people may) i wish they would think of something more original than 'it's no good, it's not Dita'. Also, if this woman actually is a performer, it strikes me as a bad career move to make such a display at an event that will now alienate her from that promotor and possibly tarnish her reputation.

Out of curiosity, if there are any promotors in Derby who have an event going on next week do let me know if this lady is on your bill... she is perhaps late 30's-mid 40s with blondish hair that is long and frizzy (like a member of the Darkness) and she is tall-ish and slim-ish with a sort of mum-of-a-WAG look. If anyone has booked this lady i'd love to know who she is and perhaps catch a glimpse of burlesque being done 'properly'.
Oh, and dear, if you're on here yourself please feel free to make yourself known and give your side of things if you wish to.

To end on a positive note though... i really enjoyed doing my new act and performing at both fabulous nights this weekend... i would recommend both to performers and audience alike. And needless to say, i shall be performing my Octopus far and wide and if certain people don't like it i'm afraid it's tough tassels!

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Yeehah! Nice, I wish I'd been there to hear your sister! Glad it didn't spoil your night.

I think i would have been a bit upset if i overheard her myself but my sister retold it in such a funny way (doing the voices and everything) that it just made me giggle!

There was one of these types at Hoochie Kooochie on thursday, she was like I could do this with my eyes closed, I can do it better than everyone who's performed tonight.

I just ignore these people cos I know that they would never be able to get up and perform and thats why they bitch about performers.

xx

I'm actually fascinated at the idea of an octopus act! We had a similar problem recently ourselves, unfortunately Hull has only recently been introduced to burlesque so people are still stuck in the idea of what they perceive burlesque should be as opposed to what they are presented with as we found with a recent performer who gave a political dance (which noone seemed to understand, it wasn't the dancer's fault I promise!).

People need educating by the burlesque masses!


Glad your night went well m'dear, any chance of seeing any photos please? I'm going to have to get to out-of-Hull events more, I'm missing out :help:

I think it's a shame cos there's usually one at every night who doesn't seem to want to be there but doesn't leave!
I've heard that one too though... 'i could do it better' and i always think these girls who say that are a fool either way because either they have no grounds to believe they could do it better and are just being arrogant or deluded OR they genuinely could do it better but don't do it for whatever reason and so feel jealous of people who are doing it. Either way, i think that putting down other performers in a loud and obnoxious way (and i'm not talking about expressing a genuine preference or saying a particular act wasn't for you in a polite manner) degrades no one more than the person doing the bitching, as the performers, event organisers and other audience members will usually still have a great time regardless (as i have no doubt you guys proved at your nights)
In the words of some rapper, don't be a player hater. (god i'm so white!)

Ooh i don't have any pics yet but hopefully some should be on the way soon... no doubt i will bore this whole forum with them when i get my hands on them on account of being so excited!

The octopus act sounds amazing!!

And of course, it's only proper burlesque if you have a giant martini glass to writhe around in and humongous swarkoski-covered lbunking bronco lipsticks. Didn't you know that?

The thing I find funniest about these people- and the media aswell when they do similar things- is just how publicly foolish they make themselves look. Why on Earth would you say something that loudly when everybody around you will think you are an idiot? Especially the thing about going there for 10 years- that made me giggle!

I think that they really expect people to agree with them... or they just like the attention. This woman at Shangri-la had a date with her so i wonder if it was her way of chastising him for getting a peep at boobies that weren't hers.
Oooh, she also said 'what's burlesque doing at a belly dance night anyway?' even though the flyer clearly said 'Burlesque AND Belly Dance'... duuuuh

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear - the infamous Clueless Dita Fangirl Syndrome strikes again.

Some common signs to look for when diagnosing CDFS:

1) Burlesque started wth Dita von Teese.

2) Only women of the same size as Dita von Teese can perform burlesque.

3) Burlesque is purely about glamour.

4) CDFS sufferers who perform all have a habbit of wandering around a stage in some pretty blinged underwear (brought from some shop pre-blinged) with no attempt to entertain the audience because "wearing pretty clothes and being beautiful is all you have to do".

But back to Emerald Ace - that Octopuss routine will be making it's way to Birmingham at some point, I can't say when just yet - but come along and enjoy watching the act that sparks random cases of CDFS.

Originally Posted by Emerald_Ace

I think that they really expect people to agree with them... or they just like the attention. This woman at Shangri-la had a date with her so i wonder if it was her way of chastising him for getting a peep at boobies that weren't hers.

That annoys me! No they don't want to sleep with them just because they are watching them perform.