Thread: Burlesque and Dating!

Originally Posted by evildrneil

I could be deeply offended...

...if it wasn't true ops:

LOL, of course evildrneil based on likelihood, probability and evidence. Love evolutionary theory on "mating" it's a great read on both male and female evolved stategies. Helps both men and women sort out the players from those who are looking for genuine long term committment/relationship, depending on what you want. Makes you realise what a primative band of cheeky little monkey's we all are.

Originally Posted by Khandie Khisses

Some of my vanilla ( non-burly) friends think I should consider dressing down but i dont want to completely hide myself! I mean I go to bloody tescos in my leopard print so its not like I dont wear it all the time!

Ok so my rambles will halt now.

I'm with edn on this one - maybe a good way to think of your clothes is as an "unsuitable man" warning system.

Your clothes reflect a big part of who you are and the way you go about living your life - any man who is going to get the vapours at the sight of them :daft: is highly unlikely to be the right man for you (definitely his loss)!

So I'd advise ignoring your vanilla friends in this instance, being yourself and concentrating on having a good time - if you do this you are far more likely to attact a man who can appreciate you in all your burly gorgeousness! :winkgrin:

Best of luck, Hun - keep us posted! :eyebrows:

Does it go into the disconnect in social communication between the genders too? One thing people never seem to take into account is that (in the West at least) women are pretty much trained from birth in high levels of social communication whereas men are pretty much trained to ignore it! I often have to re-iterate again and again to female friends that if you aren't "hinting" in 20 foot high letters of neon then men won't even notice!

Originally Posted by Lainy

Makes you realise what a primative band of cheeky little monkey's we all are.

Aww, you say that like it's a bad thing! :eyebrows: :winkgrin: :lol:

Originally Posted by evildrneil

Does it go into the disconnect in social communication between the genders too? One thing people never seem to take into account is that (in the West at least) women are pretty much trained from birth in high levels of social communication whereas men are pretty much trained to ignore it! I often have to re-iterate again and again to female friends that if you aren't "hinting" in 20 foot high letters of neon then men won't even notice!

LOL, of course men and women tend to think very differently i.e men are tend to be focused thinkers (generally not good multitaskers or communicators concerned with getting from A to B). Women's brains on the other hand are based on communication and broader/wider thinking patterns. It's a big evoluationary difference in the brain and thinking differences in both genders. Google Helen Fisher who studies love, sex and gender difference (also similarities). It's most often not done deliberately (although sometimes it feels like it is lol)

Originally Posted by evildrneil

I often have to re-iterate again and again to female friends that if you aren't "hinting" in 20 foot high letters of neon then men won't even notice!

Hoo boy, are you right there!

I remember when first getting together with Iolair I was reduced to using an interpreter to get the message "yes, I do fancy you" through to him! :lol: :lol: ops:

Be yourself… if a bloke is too fragile to cope, then he isn’t the right bloke for you, (or anyone for that matter)
If you change, your making do… and I doubt you want to just make do. Stick to your guns, be who you are and remember that normality is just for people who can’t cope with the real world.
I know I’m a bloke and was fragile myself once, but I’ve been educated.

I agree with pretty much what everyone is saying on here. You shouldn't need to change yourself. Anyone who has a problem with you wearing leopard print probably isn't suitable, and it's their loss. And anyone who makes up there mind purely based on your clothes/appearance and not your personality is rather shallow.

Originally Posted by evildrneil

I often have to re-iterate again and again to female friends that if you aren't "hinting" in 20 foot high letters of neon then men won't even notice!

thats not always true - I missed the signs with Dr Silverlight and he came down to London to show me Us women can be just as bad
Anyway don't ask me for advice - i also was told if you want a bloke try being normal (not dying my hair umpteen colours wearing skinny jeans and metal tshirts)

I didn't become 'normal' i held out for someone who would accept for who and what i was and that included my style. I found that if i did dress normal they thought that they could change me and but its integral to who i am and i don't think I'll ever change
Be Proud of who you are and be proud that you are a gorgeous catch but only for someone who thinks the same as you and appreciates you for you!
it'll be worth the wait - i promise (i did and that 9yrs for me):hug:

Aww honey.

Be yourself - better being you and having fun then trying to disguise your self and being miserable. I like the idea of your clothes working as a way of filtering out the bad un's. At least that way you don't waste months of your life trying to find out if he'll like you when your you.