The ubiquitous disapproving family thread!!!

[dayzechainz]

Hi guys

Just wondered if anyone has got any help or advice…
My family no nothing of my performing and I feel I’m about to get exposed sooner rather than later, I’ve always been quite careful about my myspace/facebook profiles etc but recently I’ve realised what a small world it is and people in my life who I thought were unconnected now all seem to know each other!!!
I’m almost certain that if certain members of my family were to find out then it wouldn’t be good at all… I’d say conservative with a small c is a vast understatement!!!
Do you think it’s better to state something about my burlesque activities or leave it to chance that it may never come out… the thing is I’m even considering cancelling a booking as a result…
Sorry for the waffle but I’m all confused…

WARNING

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[liberty flame]

I just told my 85 year old grandparents about my burlesque. They are very conservative and disapprove of most things. I broke it to them gently, I said it was a bit like caberat and discribed my act to them and surprizingly they said it sounds very interesting and gave me thier best wishes. I think because I explained to them how much effort I put into my performance and how passinate I am about burlesque they understood that its not just some whimsical hobbie but more of skill/art which Ive spent a lot of time learning. My brother was realy opposed to burlesque when I first started but now he can see how important it is to me and that I havnt given up after lots of false starts and setbacks, He actualley said last week that he admired my strength, courage and motivation.
My advice is when you tell them tell them how much it means to you and how much it makes you happy surley anything that contributes to someone they love's happiness can't be a bad thing.

[blitzgrrl]

I'd probably mention to one or two members, or take one of them to a show (where you're not performing) and gauge their reaction. As Liberty said, sometimes you can be surprised by peoples reactions. It's important to think about how you put it as well.

I can see how it's tempting not to say anything - but if they find out by accident it will look like you tried to keep it secret - which can be more hurtful. Maybe just say that you're getting into the idea of performing cabaret and then you're going to perform. Gives them a bit of time to get used to the idea.

Not all of my family approve - however we just don't talk about it rather then turn it into a major issue. Ultimately it's your choice to do something you love and I wouldn't feel happy giving up something I love just to keep other people from moaning. Oh and about the booking - only you can make that choice, but my instinctive reaction would be to say no. Cancelling 'in case someone finds out' probably won't impress the promoter.
xxx

[Sapphira]

Hi guys
Do you think it’s better to state something about my burlesque activities or leave it to chance that it may never come out… the thing is I’m even considering cancelling a booking as a result…
Sorry for the waffle but I’m all confused…

Hi there. I know the feeling. I had done so much burly in London living away from my family that I felt it was pretty easy to fall under the radar but since moving back to my homeland I decided to 'come out of the closet' and it's just made me feel so much better knowing I'm owning my choices and being honest so I think you should go for it.

I wrote a letter to my folks and I included all the press articles that I had been featured in whilst in the UK and abroad and they were actually very proud and whilst I wouldn't invite them to a show, it went much better than I thought!

Good luck!

[21st Century Burlesque]

I just wanted to chip in here and say that we are currently working on a feature about family & friends/partners reaction and support/lack of support. If anyone would be willing to talk to us about their experiences, anonymously or otherwise, please drop us a PM xx

21:CP Has Changed...

[Broomy]

Have a look at this thread, there are other threads too, about 'coming out,' it may help to read the takes of others on the subject.

http://www.ministryofburlesque.com/b...burlesque.html

[Tiara The Merch Girl]

I did tell my parents I was learning burlesque but never explained directly to them what that meant. They think it's just a form of comedy, but I think my mum's on to something - she keeps telling me "please don't lose your dignity! Please do not take off your clothes! It is not in our culture!"

never mind that I wasn't exactly planning to strip off at any stage just yet :P

[lucy4corsets]

Invite your family to a show, or show them some pictures of your interest. Sooner or later they will find out and they'll probably wan't be very happy with their daughters choice. If you get them to understand that it's all about performance, they'll be alright. And it's better they get to know it through you, people have all kinds of ideas about the scene, especially outsiders. If it makes you proud, share it and they'll become proud as well, even if they don't say a thing, or are a bit chocked.

[Adelina Le Shay]

i think this is such a hard topic as its difficult to judge the situation when your not in it. From the start of my burlesque-ing i felt i could tell my parnets all or nothing about it....and went for all and they even came to my first show and have been so supportive! I think its best to tell them, if they find out from someone else they're probably going to think the worst of your 'secret life' and god only knows what someone elses description of burlesque will be! If you do decide to tell them i would have an arsenal of great burly youtube vids to show and perhaps some pro pictures of yourself to show them so they can get an accurate idea of what burlesque really is. Ive seen you perform and you're fabulous!! i think theyll be really proud of you xx

[Banbury Cross]

My mom said to me today that i am "cheapening myself"

which made me very upset....especially as I absolutely adore what I do and wouldn't dream of giving it up. But it hurts when family memebers (who you would think would be supportive no matter what) tell you that what you love is irrelevent (sp), inappropriate and cheap. Sometimes no matter what you say will make them see past the "stripper" label. so poo poo the negative comments and do what make you feel alive.

Hang in there....