Thread: Burlesque and Motherhood

Originally Posted by Miss B Poppin

Hey Sweetie,
My daughter is 9 and very inquisitive so I'm afraid here's no hiding what I do anymore. I've always tried to keep the more sexual elements hidden but kids aren't stupid and they pick up on a lot more than one realises. In the earlier days I think she just thought I was like a dancer who dressed up in crazy costumes but then she started to ask more and more awkward questions like
"mummy why do you have to have jewels on your bra and knickers? No'ones going to see them are they?"
"what are these for?" when inspecting my pastie collection.
These questions all coincided with her going through a really censorious stage where any nudity anywhere was 'yuk' or 'gross' which she was getting from her friends.
I did feel very worried for a bit that she would feel funny and ashamed of what I do when she realised the full implications. I kept most of it hidden from her but this was very difficult and I felt sad not being able to share so much stuff with her.

Then things took a bit of a turn due to an episode of the simpsons, I don't know if you've seen the Maison Derriere episode (we put the spring in springfeild) ;

YouTube - The Spring in Springfield

My daughter watches the Simpsons religiously, in many ways it's a great episode because it deals with the hypocricy of moralistic atttitudes and I think Bart Simpson giving burlesque the thumbs up made it cool and acceptable in her mind.

After that she seemed quite proud of what I do which brings me to the next problem. I want her to feel comfortable with what I do but not too comfortable.

I have caught her imitating some cheesecakey poses, which I didn't like much, but not as much the times I've seen her copying Britney , or Lady Gaga ( some of her lady Gaga moves are pretty wicked though, I have to admit!)


Also one of her friend's mums was chatting to me in the playground and said out of nowhere that her daughter had told her that 'I wear sparkly bras and dance for men'. She said it in good humour not dissapprovingly but I was still taken a back by this.
I have explained profousely to my daughter that I don't dance for men and that it's though there are boys there are also lots of girls watching and having fun and that she will understand when she's older. That there is nothing wrong with what we do, that the body is nothing to be ashamed of, etc but it's for grown ups!


The trouble is, though it goes against my nature, mostly as a mother I want to be purer than the driven snow and I find it really hard to stomach the idea of her being anything other than my innocent little princess.
But when you look at TV and Pop music so much more dubious sexuality is marketed at children and they are going to learn about being a woman one way or another, I think personally burlesque is far healthier in that respect than the other influences out there.


Things seem to have settled down nicely for the time being, she seems very comfortable with everything but not overly interested, that seems to have been a phase which has passed (touch wood). We sew together, share the costumes and she often helps comes up with ideas for me, one which actually transpired into an act so on the whole it's really positive, but I still keep the really sexy stuff to a minimum and she never actually sees the full acts just the PG version.

It's a really difficult thing to know how to handle, she seems pretty cool with it, but I've got a feeling the problems gonna raise it's head again when she's a teenager !!!
xxxx

Did any of you see the BT (i think...) advert, where the character is Mum by day, & feathery burlesque honey by night (& mixed race to add an extra fun angle for my family!)?
my eldest boy (11) was like: "Mum! Look! Thats what you do!" I felt a bit embarassed, because I'm a hypocrte, it's what I do
Following on from the Simpsons episode Miss B. Poppin mentions here,
My kids were made more aware of what I do because of that episode. I was naiive enough to allow the kids & husband to watch tv without me watching their every move!! Aaand dad explained it to them then.
I just don't know how I feel about the kids knowing about it all, I would have happily just told them I'm a dancer/performer, not because I don't trust them to have reasonable reactions & feelings about it, but because there are so many ignorant people in the world that I worry they will be teased etc. beacause of me , but, in answer to your newest post, Blue Angel, my husband is SO PROUD of me doing this, that he has to be reminded to keep his lovely trap shut!!
I'm much happier & more driven now that I get to play around on a stage, & because he's a drummer in his band & has been on stages for years, he fully understands that!

/more waffle from the waffle queen.

Not sure if this thread applies to me as much, but I thought I could answer the husband/boyfriend question =) even though I'm not a mummy or a performer (YET)

My boyfriend loves the idea of me doing burlesque performing and gives me loads of encouragement to learn. I think, for him, he finds it far sexier than things like stripping because it's more subtly sexy and classy, that's the best thing about it. I don't think he gets jealous because I'm not naked when I'm doing it, I'm still covered in all the important places, meaning he gets his own little private show at home haha

xx