Thread: Wanting to do burlesque but have body confidence issues

"loving yourself comes with time" that is so true!

This thread is interesting and so so important.

The lure of burlesque is that it is a celebration of being a woman. It is saucy yet not sleazy, gorgeous yet not detached, and alluring in oh so many ways. It is body beautiful in the purest form.

And it's refreshing and empowering to see that because we hear nothing but the opposite, day in and day out, from the rest of our culture. So we leave the cabaret and suddenly it's back to a steady contemplation of our bumps and flaws, our red spots and soft spots, and all the myriad of ways in which we are apparently failing as women. Why am I pretending I can do this?, you think. Who would want to watch me?

As I prepare to debut, this line of thinking drags me down. A venue just sent me an email saying they wanted a "hot, saucy" singer. I am saucy, I thought, and I can SANG, but hot? Am I hot? Am I hot enough? I'm not hot enough. No no no, not enough. No.

It's twisted and sad, and I guess that's why I wanted to say thanks to everyone who's replied on this thread already. It is your voices of support that keep us newbies and doubters moving forwards (or at least THIS newbie and doubter), ignoring the inner voice that screams obcenities at us. Let's band together to keep making burlesque about the body beautiful.

Originally Posted by Vivacity Bliss

This thread is interesting and so so important.

The lure of burlesque is that it is a celebration of being a woman. It is saucy yet not sleazy, gorgeous yet not detached, and alluring in oh so many ways. It is body beautiful in the purest form.

And it's refreshing and empowering to see that because we hear nothing but the opposite, day in and day out, from the rest of our culture. So we leave the cabaret and suddenly it's back to a steady contemplation of our bumps and flaws, our red spots and soft spots, and all the myriad of ways in which we are apparently failing as women. Why am I pretending I can do this?, you think. Who would want to watch me?

As I prepare to debut, this line of thinking drags me down. A venue just sent me an email saying they wanted a "hot, saucy" singer. I am saucy, I thought, and I can SANG, but hot? Am I hot? Am I hot enough? I'm not hot enough. No no no, not enough. No.

It's twisted and sad, and I guess that's why I wanted to say thanks to everyone who's replied on this thread already. It is your voices of support that keep us newbies and doubters moving forwards (or at least THIS newbie and doubter), ignoring the inner voice that screams obcenities at us. Let's band together to keep making burlesque about the body beautiful.

Hotness (maybe that should be "heat") is in the eye of the beholder, as a wise-woman once paraphrased.
Consider yourself RED hot, reply to the email & go go go
Good Luck xxx

The good news is that I didn't let my raging doubt stop me from replying.

The bad news is that eleven weeks of dayjob-related travel HAS stopped me from pursuing the opportunity.

But the first part is the important part, right?

I have doubts, I wonder why I'm doing it (at my age) and when I'm on the same bill as girls and boys young enough to be my kids I have serious jitters. I get nervous just before I go on stage, even though I know every one of my routines - it's the doubts that keep me doing it.

I put in a different thread that when I hear the audience laugh and applaud at the end (rather than applaud and laugh at the end) it reminds me of why I do it... I want to!

Came to this thread rather late, and in my humble opinion the best advice you have been given is that of Evil Dr. Neil.

If you are a former singer/comedienne, then get back out there and re-invent yourself in a world you already know and understand, even if that has to be in a slightly different way due to your former partners' unavailability. It sounds as though your recent experiences can at the very least provide you with a whole wealth of new material. Isn't it maybe ironic that while so many women are lamenting their 'mummy tummys' and saggy boobs you've got the reverse problem? Is there an act in that?

Why add to your current stress levels by subjecting your new and ( to you) strange body to such scrutiny? Let alone the knife, and the impact on your bank account.

Don't do it!!!!

If you poke around this site a little more you will learn that there are so many different definitions of the word burlesque : nudity/partial nudity is NOT necessarily a part of it; humour and parody are often at the heart of it.
I'ld much rather go and see 'The Singing Ironing Board' [ I know it was a deeply crass comment, but use the anger it provoked in you and turn it around!} singing or talking wittily about how motherhood appears to have opened up a potential career as a lap-dancer, and the problems of pole-dancing when you're still lactating (I can even think of some lines : 'There's an eyeful you weren't expecting!!') , than yet another generic self-indulgent not-quite-strip : particularly with silicone boobs.

Members of the burlesque community are indeed very encouraging and positive, and non-judgmental, but remember that the audience members may not feel the same.

Speaking very personally, I've always had the opposite problem to you : at 32GG I was so sick and tired of having endless inane comments made about my cleavage that I flirted very seriously with the idea of trying to perform, invested money in classes etc, all in the name of displaying my body on my own terms, and not being seen as simply a pair of tits.
I came to the realisation that it wasn't about what I looked like, it was about what I had to offer, and for me that was about using my proven skills as a costume-maker to participate in the burlesque world, rather than working my own body issues out on stage.

You come across as a very self-aware and bright woman. Play to your strengths! And good luck.

Vx