Thread: perent reactions to burlesquing

iv been dancing for nearly two years now and had told my parents what i was doing and had even shown my mum videos of my dancing,
my mum for whatever reason flipped last night (maybe the penny finaly dropped ?? i have no idea) and is now been increadably verbally abusive towards me.
has anyone elce experienced some thing similar?

WARNING

Warning: This is an Old Thread This discussion is older than 60 days. information contained in it may no longer be current

My mam wasnt happy, she thought burlesque was seedy stripping and that this was the beginning of a slippery slope to "worse" things. When she realised that wasnt the case, she still wasn't happy at the thought of her little girl being bawdy or saucy. When she got over that she decided she STILL didnt like it because she could not understand someone wanting to get up on the stage and therefore felt she understood me less. Lol.

aaaw, Hun, that's a shame. I hope you are ok.

I'm so lucky that my mum is a mad old aging hippy who dances naked with her friends in the garden, so she's pretty cool with me performing! She's planning to bring her mates to watch us soon, I said it's fine, as long as they keep their clothes on!

My dad is cool with it too, bless him! I haven't had much of a relationship with my dad for most of my life, and actually performing has given us something to build a relationship on. He works in music and theatre, and does my backing tracks for our acts. He's really supportive and wants to come to a show too, although his wife is such a prude, I don't think she'd cope!!

My mum doesn't really get my dressing as a boy, she's all about celebrating femaleness and that! She doesn't know I cross dress away from the stage too, and I don't discuss that sort of thing with her. She'd have some kind of melt down and try to do healing on me, or something if she knew I had issues!!

I am really lucky with the parents I have, I know people who have been performing for years and their parents don't know! I guess it's just personal tase for some parentd. Not all people like burlesque and we have to accept that, but if someone has never been to a show, they might have the worng idea of what you do. Maybe them seeing you could help? But again, depends on the person!

I hope she comes around to the idea and you make amends with her. xxx

I'm not performing yet but have been modelling and compering on and off for the last five years. My dad was really relaxed about it. It was my mum and sister that didn't approve. However, my sister has just had her first pin up shoot and loves it. My mum has been really supportive of her.

It was my nan that started on me. she said I would end up doing porn or prostitution (not that these are bad things when done safely!) and claimed I had really upset my granddad, who was dying at the time.

Never let anyone put you down for who you are or what you do, especially when you feel in your bones that you are meant to be on that stage. I haven't been 'Claudia' for a couple of years due to illness and really miss being out and about on the burlesque circuit. I don't know what I'd do if I had to give it up because of someone elses narrow mindedness

the thing is she liked it for two years now she suddenly thinks im a whore for doing it, thats the bit that's confused me i have shown her film of me dancing and photos ect and watched countless video on you tube of other preformes with her so she understood what it was i was doing.

Has someone at work or in her group of friends said something to upset her? It sounds like someone's been whispering bad things in her ear that has made her panic

god knows but shes disowned me, im not going to stop doing what i love shes just going to have to accsept me for who i am

Originally Posted by Claudia Atlantis

Has someone at work or in her group of friends said something to upset her? It sounds like someone's been whispering bad things in her ear that has made her panic

That's a good point. Kitty - you're a lovely girl - your mum should be proud of you. I'm sure she is really - but as Claudia suggests - maybe someone has given her some concerns. How about letting her come to a show to see you perform. Or taking her to a show - one that's more mum-friendly and traditional maybe - so that she can see that it's a theatrical experience - where a lot of effort and care goes into the routines, costumes, props and so on. And where the audience is an appreciative and fun-loving one, rather than the whooping lot you sometimes get. Maybe speak to other performers whose parents are cool with it - get their take on it. Try speaking to Fleur du Mal on here or Facebook - or even Elle Amour - her mum was there at HnH last week with her. Hope it works out for you babe xxx

I haven't actually told my parents yet, i'm worried they will react in this way. I'm thinking at some point if i carry this into the future i will want to, especially my mother who i think after a shock she may be ok with it, has anyone got any advice on how to approach the subject if i do tell

I've been performing for 20 years (burlesque for the last two of them...) and I'm lucky as my mum has always been supportive of what I've done and comes to see shows if I perform near her. She loves it and loves meeting the other performers, too. Vixie, perhaps you could show your mum a few clips on Youtube of the type of burlesque you are performing to see what her reaction is, and maybe ask her a few questions on what she thinks of it...

Kitty, I'm sad your mum feels this way - and, as the others have pointed out, it does sound like something has recently been said to her for her to suddenly go against what you do. I wouldn't know how to broach the subject without upsetting her, but when she's calmed down, perhaps you could take her to a burlesque club (on a night that you are not performing) and just watch the show with her... she might even have a good time (fingers crossed for you, lovely!)
X