Thread: Friends who won't understand burlesque....

Cheer me up people....

Today I had lunch with my best friend who used to come along with me to the Cherry Pop Peep Show...I think we went to three fantastically high quality shows....but since the Big Burlesque Bout he's dropped out of going to two other shows with me.

Today he tells me that he'd suddenly realised that (in his eyes) he was no better going to see burlesque than blokes who oggle over women at strip joints. He said just because burlesque evenings attract Observer readers as well as Sun readers doesn't mean it's any better than letching over strippers (his words).

I was stunned. I still am. I thought he understood, especially as he has seen how burlesque has and is changing my life, how it's empowering me......and he's actually seen some very in control women, deffo not stripping because they need the money (because let's be honest, if you're doing burlesque for the money.....you'll be broke the rest of your life) but doing being up on stage because they want to be......having spent ages designing costumes, routines etc and although most take off some clothing.......etc.

We often hear of friends and family who don't get burlesque and think it sleazy, but I'm so shocked and surprised that he's changed his mind about burlesque - he used to get as excited as I did going to shows....and we raved about various performers for weeks after.

And now everything's changed.

It's hard enough that I know don't have someone to take me to shows, I feel like I've been punched hard in the stomach.

Cheer me up people - say something silly, or uplifting or anything....coz I'm feeling a little flattened. Please pick me up...

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I know what you mean Tempest. I've been interested in Burlesque for a while but none of my friends share my enthusiasm. I am trying to persuade some to come with me to the Pitty Patt club in November as it is a few days after my birthday and they will grudgingly come along as it is'my birthday night out' and NOT a 'burlesque night out' (if you understand!!!).

Through the MoB I have been fortunate to meet others locally who share my love of burlesque and we have already booked onto a local beginners burlesque workshop and bought tickets for the Charlotte Thomson 'Delicate Treats' event which features (amongst other things) her fabulous artwork and burlesque performances.

My tip Tempest is to find other like-minded souls locally through MoB and get together. You are MORE than welcome to join me at any event / workshop etc but you may be based too far away - my knowledge of UK geography is slightly patchy.

Don't despair Tempest - all is not lost!!!!

kisses
PixieParasol

Thank you

It's just I feel like I've had the stuffing knocked out of me - he was the last person I thought would look down on burlesque

But yes, this gives me an opportunity to make more new friends who understand

Although I might have to get him to read Diva's thread on her black swan routine and RedSarah et al's comments on burlesque being less and less of the frilly knicker brigade....

Ah babe what a silly bugger he is. Its okay for him to think the ladies on stage are hot, its not the whole point but it is a sexy art form. So is he going to stop going to an art gallery just incase he finds a painting of a woman attractive, or sculpture or photography. Is he going to stop reading books incase he finds a chapter erotic.
I think maybe thats the point some of what we do on stage can be erotic but its not pornographic. Most men are not that bothered about watching burlesque because its about sex, its not explicit, its funny, silly, and sometimes people don't even take anything off.
So I do think he is over reacting and should come to another show and give it another chance.
Big hugs
Diva x

Originally Posted by tempest devyne

Cheer me up people....

Today I had lunch with my best friend who used to come along with me to the Cherry Pop Peep Show...I think we went to three fantastically high quality shows....but since the Big Burlesque Bout he's dropped out of going to two other shows with me.

I was stunned. I still am. I thought he understood, especially as he has seen how burlesque has and is changing my life, how it's empowering me......

"How it is empowering me"....................My dear, sweet Tempest, methinks you have answered your own question.....................I do hope I am wrong............................................. .................. but........(shrugs).

Anyway, one day my sister, when she was 11, came into her dad and said "Daddy? I was told a joke today but I don't understand it, could you explain it to me?" Daddy said "yes, go ahead tell me the joke Maureen". Maureen, "A cockeral goes "COCKA DOODLE DOO!!" but a prostitute goes "ANY COCK'LL DOOO!"". Suffice as to say daddy was so choked with his daughters brilliance at joke telling he couldn't answer her.................................

On the subjects of "daddies"

My mum gave me the only picture in existance that we know of, of my real, blood father today..............Man o man did I feel strange, and still do, after looking at him for the first time in my life.............

Heres a big hug Tempest :hug:

Im not sure what to tell you to make you feel better, but I know how you feel :hug:
Its really tough when your friends are so negative about burlesque, maybe give him a bit of time? Maybe he just feels guilty about liking it?

Much love :hug:

Axx

Originally Posted by tempest devyne

Cheer me up people....

We often hear of friends and family who don't get burlesque and think it sleazy, but I'm so shocked and surprised that he's changed his mind about burlesque - he used to get as excited as I did going to shows....and we raved about various performers for weeks after.
.

It does seem very unusual for someone to do an about face so quickly... but let's not condemn the poor lad just yet. The only time i have seen someone change their mind about something they liked before and now they stand in the opposite position is when someone is putting pressure on them. Perhaps those words aren't his but are a reaction to a partner questioning his motivation for going to the shows and getting cross, or friends or colleagues making fun of him and calling him a perv. It's possible that he feels guilty for finding the performers attractive and worries that he is somehow degrading them?

Either way though you have every right to feel disappointed... it's one thing for someone to lose interest it's another for someone to totally changer their position that way. I think the best thing you can do is keep enjoying it and try not to worry to much about whether he comes back into the fold... you may find he regrets his words and gets back into it again, but if he doesn't you have all of us here to share your enjoyment with.

Love you hunny
xxx

Originally Posted by tempest devyne

Today he tells me that he'd suddenly realised that (in his eyes) he was no better going to see burlesque than blokes who oggle over women at strip joints. He said just because burlesque evenings attract Observer readers as well as Sun readers doesn't mean it's any better than letching over strippers (his words)..

How strange, I'd have thought the perves and letches prefered the Indipendant and the Bolton Indipendant Leader.

Sounds to me as if he's mentioned it to someone and they have shamed him down.
It's sad a friend of mine had a boy/friend who was invited out for a birthday do but because of his missus saying how immoral it was he couldn't go.
And missed out entirly, since then he's missed out on his friends.
I don't like this woman, never met her, but insulting pregnant women with fat jibes is not nice or intelligent.

I hope he sees how much you love it and has a change of heart,
Im sure he's lovely but he seems to have a stick up his bottom.
Maybe a shag would loosen the stick. I'll do him for mates rates.:twothumbs:

Tempest,

I really do feel for you - its awful situation to come accross.

I cherish friendship and would be so upset if a friend said that to me.

I was once told to leave burlesque alone as I wasnt a performer by a friend. So I know that comments that wouldn't normally bother you can be both shocking and hurtful when coming from someone you consider a friend.

Those who I now call my friends have been incrediable, even if they don't really get the whole burlesque thing, they see it as my thing and thats good enough for them to support me. They have gone to extrodinary lengths to support me and my passion for burlesque including running me 70 miles and back when my car broke down so I could go see a gig, Posting out pasties when I was ill earlier this year, and modeling for free.

Whilst we are talking of friendship and burlesque I must mention the wonderful Cat (Dark Angel Corsets) who I met online through our burlesque interest and it turned out she lived around the corner! We are the best of friends - usually talking daily, she is great I feel very lucky to have met cat and owe it all to burlesque.

Doll xXx

I had a similar experience recently when I showed a friend my first ever routine which isnt quite finished yet to see what she thought. This is a person who claims to be all about "pin up" and "vintage" etc... Who ive known for years and the only thing she could come up with is

"Its a bit like ur a posh stripper"

Poor me spending lots of time getting a routine together and apparently im a posh stripper? POSH? :////

Maybe he had a bad day or some1 made a horrible comment to him about the fact that he likes Burlesque? People can be very vulnerable (sp?) at times and any comment can make u change ur opinions instantly! People like this are so insecure of themselves that they are able to make u doubt yourself! Maybe you should have a chat with him and ask whats REALLY made him change his mind?


I was actually wondering where u had got urself to as I hadnt seen a post from u in a couple of days or so! And its been said by others on here but if u're ever down south and theres a show I will save u a seat