Thread: Cross dressing quandry....

Some of you may know my eleven year old son is always stealing my heels and make up, today he is clomping around in my new black 3 inch heels (for a funeral tomorrow, I haven't even worn them yet!).

He has just asked me if next time I but clothes for him I can buy him a dress to go with the shoes and I am not sure what to do.

I am perfectly happy for my kids to be whoever they want to be, but worry that he is still very young and although I certainly won't stop him, I worry that encouraging him might not be the best thing either. He always takes of nail varnish etc before going out to play, but if one of his friends sees him wearing a dress through the window it could be very difficult to explain away and I am not sure he could deal with it.

So to buy or not to buy, that is the question!

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Now you have a slight quandry my dear! In years gone by he would be told to sop it or else by you, daddy and the establishment. Now a days thankfully, parents and establishment are realising that sometimes kids will do this for a couple of years then grow out of it.

I started at age 10, dressing in my sisters kit when in bed. Some other boys do nothing till early teens.

BUT, the main thing is to realise that the lad is doing NOTHING wrong what so ever, ok? He might only dress femme for a wee while or for the rest of his life. There are two ways to go here sweetheart, tell him no and he does it underhand anyway OR, let him have a dress, or a skirt and blouse or, dress him up with the whole kit and let him see how he looks, feels, acts.

If the lad IS a CD then there is NOTHING you can do to stop him other than screwing him up trying, he will get enough of that from his peers, believe me!

Let him have a go, see what happens. PM me if you need to chat away from the forum about ANY part of crossdressing.

If his peers see him through a window he will either sort it out there and then or the experience will tell him to be more careful. Thing is, the younger generation today are so much more tolerant of CD's than when I was a child.

My mum still goes all un PC when she speaks of Cd's, according to her we are ALL gay, problem is, nothing could be further from the truth!

John (aka Michelle Yvonne Castlenia)

Sit him down and ask him why he does it?What does he gets from it?You have to kind of level with the lad and understand why he does it so that you can come to terms and deal with it in the appropriate way.There could be all sorts of factors and reasons why but sit him down and work through it.Good luck.

Ant.xx

I'd opt for buying it, as the Minister says if your son wants to wear dresses he's going to wear them. It's great that he has such open parents, regardless of whether he's a lifetime cross dresser or just wants something a bit more comfy.

What he, and you, do if his friends see him I think is something you'll have to guess at if it happens. It sounds from your descriptions that your son is a mature young man, and you'll probably find that if and when that time comes he'll find a big dose of inner resolve. Plus though children can be obnoxious they're generally much more open and accepting than adults, especially if they find out individually rather than collectively (and on that score you have an advantage with the home-ed, no playground).

xx

No Scottish in the family at all? A friend of mine happily played in a kilt (his mums idea of a compromise) for a few years then just as happily hit a goth stage. But well done on thinking about how to make him happy and not just going for a knee jerk reaction Sounds like he has a very supportive environment

Elven is young, it could be just a phase, just fun dressing up, but these feelings of not quite being the gender you are supposed to be often start to occur in early puberty, did me, I stole my mothers clothes and wore then in secret.

Perhaps buy, see if its just dressing up, just play. but then it might turn into something deeper, it might not. If you don't, well he might just do it anyway, do you want him nicking your clothes in secret? Support might let him develop in a more balanced way.

The secrecy thing, well children can be cruel, not being "normal" can be hard when you are young, so perhaps if you let him experiment, but in private and when he's older, late teens perhaps, he can make more informed decisions.

I think he is lucky having a mum who would even consider this.

Raspberry you are such a wonderful person and he is so lucky to have a Mum like you. I agree with the others on here: even if he is spotted by a friend at least he will have your support. I think it's much better to be there for him, whether it be a phase or a life choice, than to try and avoid the issue.
Lots of love.
xx

I also totally agree with everyone else. You're a fantastic mum, and I think supporting him and buying him a dress is the best thing you can do. If you try to explain to him why you're hesitant it might inadvertently make him think it's something to be ashamed of, which isn't the sort of message you'd want him to get.

I'd say get it,at least then he will have his own things to wear and you can see from his reactions whether it will be just a passing phase or something else.In any case help him to enjoy it afterall nobody is getting hurt or committing any crimes.

Ant.xx

Ooh this is an interesting one. I've got an eleven year old daughter, am a lesbian and am married to a cross dresser (neither us came out of the closet till way into our marriage, and we love each other even more now than we ever did....we just reckon both of our gaydars were switched on when we met each other and both thought the other one as 'straighter than Jack McStraight').

So I've been trying to use my experience to think how I'd react.....you've got some fab advice from cds in the know above....

I think what I'd do, is rather than buy a dress for him, and possibly feel like you are leading him, sit down with him in front of Ebay and choose something together - so it's another nice shared bonding experience and you can get a feel of what it means to him and perhaps build even better bridges between you (although I think you've got the good mothering well sussed!) in case he needs advice in the future..................plus, if he's anything like the shapes of friends/my hubby I have as cross dressers it might be interesting to explore the world of tops and skirts as opposed to a dress, because he's probably different sizes on top and bottom.

(It's probably wise to get in some cheap tights and stockings to have available if you don't want yours ruined......not that I'm talking from experience here )