Thread: Bad Karma?

I am feeling a bit troubled today. I saw someone this morning that I haven't seen (except a couple of times when I pretended I didn't) since I was 15, and I hurt him really badly the last time I saw him. It was a really messy situation, his sister was my best friend and I was dating him, but I was in the beginnings of a breakdown and not very rational.

I won't share too many details but I know that when I lost it I hurt a lot of people who didn't deserve it, and lot touch with most of them.

Now I am in a quandary because after a brief chat this morning with him in which we exchanged peasantrys and talked about our partners and children (we didn't discuss the past at all) I have come away wondering if I should have apologized.

In all honesty I have never thought of myself as a bad person, just someone who bad things have happened to, and I have never really realised how badly I behaved until today, I think I have tried not to.

So Feeling a bit like (my name is) Earl and wondering if I need to make a list, or perhaps these things are best left as they are......

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Tell you what, Ive been on both sides of this situation- Having been coming to terms with my past and treating people in a way that wasnt very fair, and also recieving undeserved abuse from people who had problems. The "Gentleman" concerned who had been quite cruel to me recently ofiicially apologised- he was very genuine, very humble and explained the situation he had been going through, which really helped me to move on from what had been a really unresolved mess- it didnt completely fix everything but it helped me see him in the light of a person who had other things on his mind and never set out to hurt me. It also meant a lot that hed put himself in that vulnerable position to put things right between us.
Over the years I have made efforts to apologise to the people I mistreated during a darker time of my life- It would be a bit selfish to say it was just to make myself feel better about what i did, but it does mean that you dont have to feel ashamed if you see them around- at the end of the day you didnt choose to act the way you did, and you were not deliberately hurtful, but you still had an impact on them and it could mean a great deal to them that you respect them enough to take responsibility for that.
Basically, Dont keep punishing yourself, but do what you can to make things right!

It can't hurt to apologise, if you regret what you did then it would probably be appreciated but the other person. And you know they are not going to ignore you as they made the effort to talk to you today and didn't walk the other way.

I have recently sent a message to my school best friend, we didn't end on the best of terms 10 years ago and i haven't spoken to her since. I am just waiting to see what she does. My feelings are that i haven't lost anything by reaching out and if she does reply it would be nice to rekindle our friendship, and i can forgive and forget.

i think that as long as its for the right reasons then apologise by all means...but remember to be able to forgive yourself because ive found in my experience that you cant truly forgive and forget until you have made peace with yourself with regards to the situation...all the best ann.xx